2 Years of FREEDOM

2 Years of Freedom Survivor of Domestic Violence

July 29th 2011, I escaped from the abuser.

As I reflect on what these last few days represent I am taken aback at the incredible journey God has brought me through.

When I was looking back at pictures from my blackberry from directly before and during that time of complete bondage and entrapment,I see a woman who was at the end of herself.  I was broken, a shell of who I was, a shell of what God wanted me to be.  Though I heard our dear Lord nudge me during that time,  He is a gentleman and never forces Himself on someone.  He had to step back and allow the fate of my choices to play out; I was taken captive and held as sin’s slave.  Just like the children of Israel, whom God loved and adored; because of their actions he allowed them to be taken captive.  But He also promised them that WHEN they cried out to Him He WOULD hear them and RESCUE them..and that is exactly what He did for me.

When I made the choice to move in with badguy out of wedlock, I was not in line with God’s perfect will for my life.  Badguy had so swept me off my feet with his ability to emulate all that I held dear, I truly felt HE was there to rescue me and give me the nuclear family unit I thought I had to be in to be accepted, normal and okay.  Prior to meeting badguy, I was already in a place of low self-esteem; my 2nd marriage had ended and I was devastated.  I felt rejected by the man I married and truly thought my worth was tied into being in a committed marriage relationship.  So rather than surrendering ALL my life to the One who created me and loves me beyond my imagination, and allow Him to Love and care for me, my soul, my being…I allowed a MAN to be God to me.  That dear ones is the ultimate recipe for disaster.  And this ‘man’ turned out to be the one who would bring me to the end of myself.  Degrade every aspect of who I was, demean all the gifts God had given me, tear my physical appearance apart and hold me physically captive to carry out HIS will.

HALLELUJAH!  God provided a way of escape and I am grateful for Him never EVER giving up on me.  The beauty of coming to the end of yourself is that God can rebuild you afresh…bringing Beauty from the ashes of our despair.  IF you are willing to surrender ALL into His hands, WOW… Have you got an amazing journey ahead of you….just like I have.

After I left I was homeless for four months.  By the grace of God my friends took me in.  During this time I got a 5 year restraining against Badguy, began to rebuild my business, and continually laid my life before God.  CPS became involved because my son heard the last altercation with badguy as I was struggling to leave.  That was  an unexpected challenge that I had to continually lay before Him.  But God has seen me and my son through.

Today I can honestly testify that God is my Joy and my Strength.  He alone takes care of me, provides for me and enables me to carry out His will.  He is my eternal Husband and I am His bride.  If/when God should decide to bring a man into my life…it will be Jesus doing it and not me looking for a ‘man’ to be with but rather God pairing me with a man of God to bear witness to the World of His Goodness.

Today I am grateful for the Freedom that I get to experience everyday.  I am blessed to raise my 6.5 year old son amicably with his dad, I am surrounded by Godly friends and God is the Man in my life!

Isaiah 43

12: First I predicted your rescue, then I saved you and proclaimed it to the world…13: From eternity to eternity I am God.  No one can snatch anyone out of my hand.  No one can undo what I have done.