Abusive Relationship Repetition

Relationship Abuse RecoveryWhy do so many of us who have survived abusive relationships end up in the same abusive/dysfunctional dynamic over and over again with different partners? I think the majority of us can safely say, it hasn’t just been one relationship in our lives that has been abusive, but several. It’s as if we’re a target for the most dysfunctional, narcissistic partners out there. We do not derive any joy or happiness from this, so WHY does it happen more than once to us?

More often than not, like me, you’ve grown up in a home where you weren’t valued, were belittled, abused and demeaned. People who have not been given a voice in childhood are in need of healing. Subconsciously we seek healing by getting PEOPLE to hear, experience and approve of us, for only then do we have value, place and a sense of importance. Usually we end up picking people just like our parents. And who typically, is more than willing to play the role of power broker in a relationship, doling out approval only insofar as it suits him/her? A narcissist, ‘voice hog’ or otherwise oblivious and neglectful person (Richard A. Grossman, Ph.D) Ironically, the negative relationship repetition is hardly masochistic. Instead, it represents an ongoing attempt to heal the self, albeit one with disastrous results.

But Hallelujah, there is hope. If we instead seek to be accepted, heard and subsequently healed by our Almighty Creator; Men/Women, parents or any earthly soul loses that ability to control or disapprove of us. We are humbly submitting to God and ALL we care about is pleasing Him. Then and ONLY then can we truly be open to being in a healthy, mutually loving relationship.

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When They Go Back…

When Victims Go BackWhen people reach out for help in leaving an abusive situation, God wants us to step in and shine Him to them. Pray with them, point them to resources…prayerfully do everything in our power to help them get a new start.

What happens when these victims then choose to go back or don’t follow through? Was our effort in vain? Absolutely not. They have seen God through our actions and we have loved on them through His Spirit. For those who have gone back, I pray God make’s His love apparent to you, that you value yourself and your purpose you have been put here for..please know Jesus does bring BEAUTY from the ASHES.

I pray that you value your children and do anything to keep them and yourselves safe. ~In Jesus Name Amen

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2 Years of FREEDOM

2 Years of Freedom Survivor of Domestic Violence

July 29th 2011, I escaped from the abuser.

As I reflect on what these last few days represent I am taken aback at the incredible journey God has brought me through.

When I was looking back at pictures from my blackberry from directly before and during that time of complete bondage and entrapment,I see a woman who was at the end of herself. [Read more…]

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Healing from Domestic Violence Video Blog

Sharing the hope of Jesus Christ to those who have escaped or are seeking to escape from domestic violence and relationship abuse. God can and will sustain you beautiful soul…He only wants the BEST for you. Do not believe anything less. The enemy will seek to confuse you, steal your joy and your hope-do not listen. Anything that is confusion, anxiousness, fear, dread is NOT from God.
ROMANS 8: 31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.

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Effective Ministry

What is your testimony of God’s life changing power He has demonstrated in your life?

In order to effect God’s work we need a few tools under our belt:

1.  Know your story.  Share it.  Live it.

What has God done in your life that would bless and encourage others? Are you willing to be transparent and share yourself and your personal struggles? Does your story reflect His Glory and not your own efforts? [Read more…]

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Rooted in His Love & His Word

I encourage each of you to allow God to speak to you through His Word. His Word is a lamp, it is our armor and ammunition against the attacks that the enemy would seek to defeat us by. Through His Word we can stand FIRM, rooted and grounded in His Wisdom and Love.

Eph 3: 16-19 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

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Ministry is birthed from brokenness…

ministry birthed from brokenness

I am so grateful for this quote.  It completely describes what God has done in my life and I’m sure the lives of countless others.

It wasn’t till the horrific experience of escaping a physically abusive relationship that God got my attention.  Did He allow it to punish me?  NO!!!! He allowed it to get my attention.  He used this tragedy of  what I experienced to open my eyes to the brokenness that needed healing. [Read more…]

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Beauty…

2009

Working out 4x a week…inwardly feeling lost.

By the worlds standards I was pristine outwardly. I worked out 4x a week, my muscles were firm and tight, my body lean; I went to the dermatologist regularly to make sure my face looked it’s best. BUT it was at this time I was my most miserable!!!! I was in a relationship…with an abuser. [Read more…]

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Romance with Jesus!

“She didn’t carry herself with a seductive, flirtatious air that guys always seemed to respond to. She didn’t dress to show off her figure. In fact, she didn’t pursue guys at all. She was far too busy living out a passionate romance with Jesus Christ to be pining after an earthly prince.
Quote from The Set Apart Girl’s Guide to Feminine Grace by Leslie Ludy

HALLELUJAH!!!

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I am His Masterpiece!

His MasterpieceFor we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).

Oh how I wish I had not endured the atrocities from Badguy, yet coming out of that experience has made me more of His masterpiece!!!

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