Abusive Relationship Repetition

Relationship Abuse RecoveryWhy do so many of us who have survived abusive relationships end up in the same abusive/dysfunctional dynamic over and over again with different partners? I think the majority of us can safely say, it hasn’t just been one relationship in our lives that has been abusive, but several. It’s as if we’re a target for the most dysfunctional, narcissistic partners out there. We do not derive any joy or happiness from this, so WHY does it happen more than once to us?

More often than not, like me, you’ve grown up in a home where you weren’t valued, were belittled, abused and demeaned. People who have not been given a voice in childhood are in need of healing. Subconsciously we seek healing by getting PEOPLE to hear, experience and approve of us, for only then do we have value, place and a sense of importance. Usually we end up picking people just like our parents. And who typically, is more than willing to play the role of power broker in a relationship, doling out approval only insofar as it suits him/her? A narcissist, ‘voice hog’ or otherwise oblivious and neglectful person (Richard A. Grossman, Ph.D) Ironically, the negative relationship repetition is hardly masochistic. Instead, it represents an ongoing attempt to heal the self, albeit one with disastrous results.

But Hallelujah, there is hope. If we instead seek to be accepted, heard and subsequently healed by our Almighty Creator; Men/Women, parents or any earthly soul loses that ability to control or disapprove of us. We are humbly submitting to God and ALL we care about is pleasing Him. Then and ONLY then can we truly be open to being in a healthy, mutually loving relationship.


When They Go Back…

When Victims Go BackWhen people reach out for help in leaving an abusive situation, God wants us to step in and shine Him to them. Pray with them, point them to resources…prayerfully do everything in our power to help them get a new start.

What happens when these victims then choose to go back or don’t follow through? Was our effort in vain? Absolutely not. They have seen God through our actions and we have loved on them through His Spirit. For those who have gone back, I pray God make’s His love apparent to you, that you value yourself and your purpose you have been put here for..please know Jesus does bring BEAUTY from the ASHES.

I pray that you value your children and do anything to keep them and yourselves safe. ~In Jesus Name Amen


My Story: Prequel

Abuse and violence started very early in my life.  Both my mother and father were very unhealthy and didn’t know how to parent. They were controlled by their emotions and human weakness. My mother was verbally abusive, emotionally demeaning and mentally cruel from the time I was a small child. From the age of 3 I remember being assaulted by my father.  I endured physical abuse, emotional and mental abuse, humiliation and degredation.   I left home by the age of 17.

[Read more…]


2 Years of FREEDOM

2 Years of Freedom Survivor of Domestic Violence

July 29th 2011, I escaped from the abuser.

As I reflect on what these last few days represent I am taken aback at the incredible journey God has brought me through.

When I was looking back at pictures from my blackberry from directly before and during that time of complete bondage and entrapment,I see a woman who was at the end of herself. [Read more…]


Healing from Domestic Violence Video Blog

Sharing the hope of Jesus Christ to those who have escaped or are seeking to escape from domestic violence and relationship abuse. God can and will sustain you beautiful soul…He only wants the BEST for you. Do not believe anything less. The enemy will seek to confuse you, steal your joy and your hope-do not listen. Anything that is confusion, anxiousness, fear, dread is NOT from God.
ROMANS 8: 31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.


Crazy Love – Why We Stay…

Leslie Morgan Steiner was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. Steiner tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence. (Filmed at TEDxRainier.)



Domestic Violence Survivor

Christ Centered support for survivors of domestic violence. My first video blog about the hope and healing available through Jesus Christ our Lord. He LOVES you so much and wants to be the center of your life for a reason…through Him alone you will find your true purpose. This video was shot with outdated software that has an outrageous lag on the sound, but oh well, the message is there and I trust God’s words of love will come through to those that need to hear it. Love Does No Harm is a Christ Centered Domestic Violence Advocacy outreach located in North San Diego County California.


1st He Said He Loved Her…

Stop Domestic Violence


Effective Ministry

What is your testimony of God’s life changing power He has demonstrated in your life?

In order to effect God’s work we need a few tools under our belt:

1.  Know your story.  Share it.  Live it.

What has God done in your life that would bless and encourage others? Are you willing to be transparent and share yourself and your personal struggles? Does your story reflect His Glory and not your own efforts? [Read more…]


SDDVC Faith Leadership Committee Event

WHEN: May 4th, 2013 ~ 9am-12pm
WHERE: San Diego Diocese 3888 Paducah Road, San Diego, CA 92117

Limited seating. Click on the link to sign up.


SDDVC Faith Leadership Committee

FREE Event For Faith Leaders And Their Teams

Learn how your congregation can reach out to those experiencing relationship violence.

  •  Presentation of how Safe Place started
  •  How the Safe Place model has worked
  •  Panel Discussion
  •  Ongoing support model
  •  Companion Services introduced